Friday, January 20, 2006
Nostalgia Overload
I'm getting to the age now where I'm frequently overwhelmed by a spiraling sense of loss as people fade out of my life or pass away. (I know I'm not that old, but being a gay man, trust me, I've had my share of loss.) Recently, it occurred to me that technology may be partly responsible for overloading us with such feelings. Certainly, people have always had reminders of their loved ones in their daily lives -- a favorite chair, an especially loved melody, a thoughtful gift -- but in the last century, our senses are bombarded by graphic representations of the missing and dead. Our grandparents peer at us out of photographs; we turn on the TV and are saddened that Hepburn and Olivier won't be sharing their brilliance with us any more; on the radio, we hear the same performance of the same song that we danced to at our high school prom with the boyfriend or girlfriend that we lost touch with 25 years ago. If you have the right temperment (and I do), you can pick up on these reminders all day long. Maybe it's just me. Do other people get overwhelmed by this? At what age do these feelings usually start? Is it just my midlife crisis -- which began when I was about 30? Anyway, I won't depress you with any more of this. Just something I wanted to get off my chest. Hope to have something happier to talk about next time.
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You are not alone in feeling the loss of people, places, and things. Younger people don't feel that loss because they haven't gone through enough life yet. So many people in my life are gone now and I still occasionally think I should call them to let them know some little tid bit I heard. The movie stars are the hardest because we grew up watching them and they are forever young on the screen. Was watching a movie a while back and realised that every actor in it was gone. It gives me a great sense of lose and mortality now that I am older and nearing the end myself. If we let it dwell in our hearts for too long it will depress us. I hope you can overcome some of the feelings you are having by knowing that you are not alone - we are all around you.
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